Reduce your stress levels by being less snippy
A couple of weeks ago, I was given the responsibility of promoting a conference in front of a large audience.
I asked a good friend of mine to critique me, and I told him not to hold back.
Well…He didn’t hold back. And he gave some valuable constructive feedback. But I became defensive — to the point that I was tuning him out.
A few hours later, I emailed him asking him to meet for coffee. When we met, I apologized for not being initially receptive to his feedback. I asked if we could discuss his feedback in greater detail. After listening to his feedback a second time, I discovered that his feedback was insightful and to the point.
One of the most powerful statements he said to me that day was “I want you to be better.” He knew I had set the standard and he was helping me to keep true to that standard.
The two lessons I learned:
- Put yourself out there: Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback. When you find people willing to give you meaningful feedback and you apply it, it can quickly accelerate your growth and put you on the road towards success.
- Being snippy can arrest learning and potentially your relationship: If I had truly been open minded about the feedback I asked for, I could have avoided harming the relationship with my friend.
Perhaps you may be getting snippy in an email — a source of stress in the past for me. I have seen first hand the impact of writing negative comments on email:
- You accidentally send it to the wrong recipient: Creating feelings of fear and stress for yourself
- You send it to the right person: Yet your words are misinterpreted, creating confusion and mistrust in the other person
Nowadays when I do have feedback for someone that could create feelings of resentment or have a high degree of being misinterpreted, I try to do it in person.
Learn more about being less snippy in emails by reading this Wall Street Journal Article:
Work to reduce stress for yourself and everyone around you; let’s focus on the tackling the real issues, rather than worrying about having to backtrack on an email we send or spending the extra time to clarify our positions.
Owner, Satori Health & Wellness